Journeying with my mother

On Thursday in A & E the doc there said she would be lucky to survive two days. Today is Sunday and she has foiled his dire prediction and cheated death for a few days yet. It's like being in a theme park with the highs and lows of those knuckle- gripping rides but none of the exhilaration. Kidney function is low but has not dropped anymore and she still has the UTI (Urinary Tract Infection for the uninitiated) . See how easily we adapt to hospital jargon in order to become one with an alien environment.



The attending urologist is a, dapper little man from the subcontinent who would melt the hardest heart with his big soulful brown eyes and his gentle soothing tones. He exudes intelligence and capability. He speaks to my mother and gives her clear options, offers the dialysis which she refuses. He prescribes her anti-nausea pills and a search for an anti-biotics that will kill the UTI but not affect kidney function. He turns those great empathetic eyes to me and as our eyes meet across the bed , I feel strangely comforted. He will not not her suffer.



We are in the renal ward now and for the nurses there is absolutely nothing they would not do for Mum to make her comfortable and from constantly adjusting her on pillows as she she slips sideways to spraying her with her favourite perfume .



Do not think that our bedside chats with visitors and nurses are doom and gloom. I read to Mum and Ian Rankin Crime story that she loves and she begins to sleep, I stop and she wakes up determined not to sleep while I am there. We both laugh about this. Julie tidies up and spills a whole jug of water on the floor. There is lots of laughter as Nic and Ali talk about the impending birth of the "Kipper" due in two weeks and how much swearing is allowable in the labour ward weeks. Trips down memory land invariably result in much giggling. I happened to ask my Mum about whether she learnt Scottish dancing. With that same acerbic stare, she informed that she has told me many a times about the Fling and the Sword dance etc. " And you say I'm ga-ga" she says.



I leave her with a hug and kiss and in my heart a desire that she not wake up in the night and not know where she is- a common symtom of the UTI in the elderly. I am holding on prety well and I think it is easier for me as I am with her constantly and can do small things to make her feel better and bring a smile to her lips.