Journeying with my mother

This trip is so much about our shared yesterdays. When my brother and his family came down to see Mum, we began to talk about where we used to live. At College I went on a field trip to Beerwah Reforestation settlement where all of us fresh young teachers were presented with a Slash Pine to plant somewhere thoughtfully. The ranger said I assured my mother that it would grow about 10 to 15 feet. Mum being an avid gardener just had to have it in the back yard. Well anyone who knows about pine trees knows that they hardly constrain themselves to a mere 10 t0 15 ft. Obviously the species had never experienced anything like the gentle care my Mother lavished on her plants. Suffice it to say that the tree was at least 40 feet tall and looking lush and gorgeous growing each year by the time she left the place 10 years later. I went back last week and now it's gone. "15 feet did you say?" asked my Mum at every opportunity. Another bone of contention between Mum and I was my assertion that the distance to our local bus stop was just a hope skip and a jump and that the road to it was just a "Slight incline". "Slight incline! My foot" said Mum 'It's a hill". Last week when I went back that slight incline was transformed before my very much older eyes to a very long and steep hill. Such is the exuberance of all conquering youth! We laughed and laughed.

Living to Travel

I just know that the label of this one will garner some attention. My mother is one of those very modern women. At 88 , I'm sure she is the first women's libber holding very strong beliefs about the equality of the sexes and filled with the determination that I would have "an education" and a profession". To this end I was to be informed about everything a girl should know. The Catholic school I attended also believed that parents are the prime educators of their children. Bear in mind that this is the late 50s and this self same institution also espoused the Virgin Birth. Thus it was that after the mothers and daughters night, we attended she came home with a printed pamphlet which contained EVERYTHING A GIRL SHOULD KNOW. I burned to read those pages and could scarcely contain my excitement when she produced this document on a cold winter's night as we sat uncomfortably by our one bar heater. To our surprise, we were joined by my father who sat as close to her as he dared but out of arm shot, while parrying deathly glares from my mother and hiding his frequent titters with bouts of coughing and spluttering. All was revealed and my first impression was "EEE_UUW" followed swiftly by the agonisingly embarrassing thought that these two people in the room with me had indeed indulged in aforesaid behaviour. Horrors upon horror. I kept sneaking looks that were a mixture of wonder and disgust for at least five days. My mother just smiled at this and looked wise.

Journeying with my Mother

My Mum looked no better today but is eating cherries and strawberries and that great Greek yogurt that tastes so good it must be very bad for you. Cherries of course are out of season and cost $14.00 a kilo but it matters not. She is the shrinking woman having lost 5 kilos in just over a month. How I long to see her at my place tucking in to bacon and eggs with relish! I spoke to the carer for a long time and they are all of the same mind that she is not the woman she was yet she takes herself to the toilet even though she has been told not to. What can you say? I can understand how we cling to that last bastion - the dignity left to us. She was lucid today and remembered all her visitors on Saturday- a good sign. We were laughing again about Nellie, one of the residents who was desperate to spend time with Audrey, saw her crawling around and invited herself in wanting to nurse her. Old people and babies - so simpatico.

Roger had a traffic incident on Friday tackling a council bus as he pulled out of the bottle shop. He feels very follish about this but I guess he had an excuse. The sun was in his eyes and his mind on my Mum's health. I was grateful it wasn't me. He hadn't had a drink thank goodness. So our cute Colt which is really too young to leave it's mother has gone on a week's holiday. Major inconvenience! Oh how we so easily become accustomed to having our own vehicle to convey us from one place to another. I shall have to work my visitations to Mum around three people's plans in our house. C'est the vie!

Journeying with my mother

This is a different kind of travel, we are undertaking my mother and I. We are living through our last days together. She is failing and even though both of us know that that final day will come yet the thought of it still weighs me down with its cold stone pebbles of dread that settle in the gut and ache terribly. Like my mother, I am confused at times and I have become more forgetful of the simple routines. I am suffused with such different feelings with the grief that the loss of her would entail alongside the pain of seeing her in pain and extreme discomfort and living a poor excuse for a life. Then I want her not to linger. I suffer guilt because the end of her suffering is also the end of my suffering and uncertainty too

When the RN said that she was in the palliative care stage of her life and he wanted to keep her at the home as long as they could, I prayed for her to die peacefully before her fragile kidneys gave out of her strong heart ceased its remarkably regular beating. My niece the favoured grand-daughter and my sister in law could not contain their grief. I had no words of comfort for them. I have none for myself.

She won't eat and I troll the markets and shops looking for unusual fruit and savoury tidbits to tempt her. She takes one bite or two and can't eat anymore. She ate three cherries today and a fresh date and enjoyed them . The doctor say she is to drink what she likes and not to be concerned about the sugar content of the copious glasses of apple juice and lemonade she is sipping. He is happy she is hydrated. Diabetes is the least of her problems.


I sit and read to her and that way she can drop off without offense as she always wants to be awake when I'm there. Sometimes we reminisce about funny moments and good times. She loves to hear about Audrey's exploits as Audrey is the youngest great-grand-daughter and small as she is- quite a piece of work. My children are coping well for the moment- they have their own lives and this is good. I long for my eldest son to contact me as he is estranged and out of the loop at the moment. I very much want him to see his grand-mother while she is able to talk and laugh.